It's September 2nd and yesterday I woke up completely excited about the change of season. I know, it's still hot and it's not "Fall" quite yet but I feel it creeping in air and I'm thrilled! I pulled out my "Fall Cds" yesterday and I've enjoyed every moment I can listening to all my favorite fall songs. I know that sounds strange but I've grown up around music and there are certain songs that bring certain feelings and it's best to not have those feelings all the time. The only thing missing is my best friend but she'll be home in Jan. hopefully.

Oops.

Long time no post. Oops... Guess that's what happens when life gets crazy.

Mom finished her first round of Chemo and is currently home waiting on Emory to call and tell us when to come up there. She called me the day before yesterday freaking out because a rattle snake was by my pregnant dog's pen. My fiance and I rushed out to mom's house and no one could find the snake. Fiance climbed into the pen with momma dog, Chevelle, and for some reason lifted up her dog house. I screamed for him to put the house down because underneath was a 4 1/2 foot long rattlesnake, thicker than his forearm. I let him and Chevelle out of the pen and mom called her boyfriend to come over and help fiance kill it. They shot it. Thank God, Fiance looked under her dog house because the next morning she went into labor. I just know that snake would have either bit her that night or waited an ate the puppies. Thankfully, we now have 9 little pups keeping momma, Chevelle, busy! They're are the cutest little things. I'll post pictures as soon as I can. Just writing that made me want to cry all over again because I would have died if something happened to any of my animals. I have 5 dogs, plus 9 puppies at the moment, and each of them is special to me. I think of them as my children.

So feather hair extensions are the newest craze and I'm just not sure how I really feel about them. Some people wear them and I think, wow she really looks great. Other times I think it looks like someone lost a fight with an chicken. Either way, I think i'm going to let my favorite stylist and super amazing friend put them in and we'll see how I think they are.

Getting over the past.

I've always said if my mom's house were to burn down she would grab the boxes of photos before anything else. She loves photography and lucky for me she's taken millions of pictures through out the years. I do the same, I have boxes of birthday cards, boxes of pictures, and even a box of old letters from people. Everything has a box.  I've never been the one to burn old pictures or notes from past boyfriends but today as I looked through my picture box I found one I just didn't like. It's a picture of my ex and I laying down, heads touching. I'm smiling from ear to ear and he has a smirk on his face that leads me to believe that he knew then that we would break up in a matter of months. We've managed to stay friends since our break up six years ago but here lately he is busy and I'm busy and his new girlfriend won't allow us to be friends. Without thinking I took a light to the picture and stood on my porch watching the edges curl. The wind blew out the flame and I lit it up again but it burned too slow. It was taking forever and quite frankly I didn't want to stare at that smirk for any longer. I picked it up and ripped into 2 million little pieces before throwing it into the trash. I'd like to say that it made me feel better but it didn't. It didn't make me feel anything, in fact I was let down that I didn't feel happier or even a little sad. I just felt like I wasted another three minutes of my life on him.

Isn't it funny how somethings go?

just a memory.

"You know, I don't NEED you. I want you." I looked at him through glassy eyes as he laid beside me monitoring my breathing. Even now, eight years later, I don't know why I felt the need to punish him even more for my mistakes. Maybe a part of me knew that I wasn't going to slip into a coma. Maybe part of me knew, even then, that I wasn't getting away from it all that easy. I'm not sure if I wanted him to just go away or if I was testing him to see if he even could but he didn't. He stayed right beside me all night, watching me breathe as I watched the back of my eyelids. He wore a hurt expression and I could tell he wanted to say the things that were plaguing his mind but once again I had adverted the topic with my own selfishness.

Oh, Thursday.

Tuesday my sister and I took my mom to Memorial in Savannah to start her first round of Chemo. She is low on platelets and in order for them to put in a pick like (so they don't have to continue sticking her) she'll need more platelets. Unfortunately, after the first two bags of platelets she has less than she started with. Praying everything goes well.

solar rays

I was browsing my news feed on Facebook this morning when I came across a wall-to-wall conversation between two of my friends. One was telling the other to mix baby oil and iodine together to get tan faster. I know that back in the day people used it all the time but the reviews I've read are quite mixed. The majority of people state that it does stain your skin for a little while. Anyone ever tried it? What results did you get?