It's September 2nd and yesterday I woke up completely excited about the change of season. I know, it's still hot and it's not "Fall" quite yet but I feel it creeping in air and I'm thrilled! I pulled out my "Fall Cds" yesterday and I've enjoyed every moment I can listening to all my favorite fall songs. I know that sounds strange but I've grown up around music and there are certain songs that bring certain feelings and it's best to not have those feelings all the time. The only thing missing is my best friend but she'll be home in Jan. hopefully.

Oops.

Long time no post. Oops... Guess that's what happens when life gets crazy.

Mom finished her first round of Chemo and is currently home waiting on Emory to call and tell us when to come up there. She called me the day before yesterday freaking out because a rattle snake was by my pregnant dog's pen. My fiance and I rushed out to mom's house and no one could find the snake. Fiance climbed into the pen with momma dog, Chevelle, and for some reason lifted up her dog house. I screamed for him to put the house down because underneath was a 4 1/2 foot long rattlesnake, thicker than his forearm. I let him and Chevelle out of the pen and mom called her boyfriend to come over and help fiance kill it. They shot it. Thank God, Fiance looked under her dog house because the next morning she went into labor. I just know that snake would have either bit her that night or waited an ate the puppies. Thankfully, we now have 9 little pups keeping momma, Chevelle, busy! They're are the cutest little things. I'll post pictures as soon as I can. Just writing that made me want to cry all over again because I would have died if something happened to any of my animals. I have 5 dogs, plus 9 puppies at the moment, and each of them is special to me. I think of them as my children.

So feather hair extensions are the newest craze and I'm just not sure how I really feel about them. Some people wear them and I think, wow she really looks great. Other times I think it looks like someone lost a fight with an chicken. Either way, I think i'm going to let my favorite stylist and super amazing friend put them in and we'll see how I think they are.

Getting over the past.

I've always said if my mom's house were to burn down she would grab the boxes of photos before anything else. She loves photography and lucky for me she's taken millions of pictures through out the years. I do the same, I have boxes of birthday cards, boxes of pictures, and even a box of old letters from people. Everything has a box.  I've never been the one to burn old pictures or notes from past boyfriends but today as I looked through my picture box I found one I just didn't like. It's a picture of my ex and I laying down, heads touching. I'm smiling from ear to ear and he has a smirk on his face that leads me to believe that he knew then that we would break up in a matter of months. We've managed to stay friends since our break up six years ago but here lately he is busy and I'm busy and his new girlfriend won't allow us to be friends. Without thinking I took a light to the picture and stood on my porch watching the edges curl. The wind blew out the flame and I lit it up again but it burned too slow. It was taking forever and quite frankly I didn't want to stare at that smirk for any longer. I picked it up and ripped into 2 million little pieces before throwing it into the trash. I'd like to say that it made me feel better but it didn't. It didn't make me feel anything, in fact I was let down that I didn't feel happier or even a little sad. I just felt like I wasted another three minutes of my life on him.

Isn't it funny how somethings go?

just a memory.

"You know, I don't NEED you. I want you." I looked at him through glassy eyes as he laid beside me monitoring my breathing. Even now, eight years later, I don't know why I felt the need to punish him even more for my mistakes. Maybe a part of me knew that I wasn't going to slip into a coma. Maybe part of me knew, even then, that I wasn't getting away from it all that easy. I'm not sure if I wanted him to just go away or if I was testing him to see if he even could but he didn't. He stayed right beside me all night, watching me breathe as I watched the back of my eyelids. He wore a hurt expression and I could tell he wanted to say the things that were plaguing his mind but once again I had adverted the topic with my own selfishness.

Oh, Thursday.

Tuesday my sister and I took my mom to Memorial in Savannah to start her first round of Chemo. She is low on platelets and in order for them to put in a pick like (so they don't have to continue sticking her) she'll need more platelets. Unfortunately, after the first two bags of platelets she has less than she started with. Praying everything goes well.

solar rays

I was browsing my news feed on Facebook this morning when I came across a wall-to-wall conversation between two of my friends. One was telling the other to mix baby oil and iodine together to get tan faster. I know that back in the day people used it all the time but the reviews I've read are quite mixed. The majority of people state that it does stain your skin for a little while. Anyone ever tried it? What results did you get?

Woke up thinking about shoes.

I love these boots. They are unique, cute, and so comfortable. I try to start every fall off by finding a new color and buying it. They look cute over leggings or without. 

The whole nude shoe look is totally cute. I love this shoe and with such a bright colored dress it really looks good. 

I first saw this shoe on a website that makes fun of certain weird shoes. I really like it though. I would probably wear them with a little black dress to add a little pop. 

The Vibram is a shoe you either love or you hate. I personally love them. I first saw them when my neighbors bought them for our camping trip. They're so different and boarder line tacky, but they're comfortable and to me they are precious! 

"She had rings on her fingers and bells on her shoes...."

I'm very into rings right now and I would love all five of the above rings!

This is the ring that started my love for statement rings. Three years ago my mom was going out of town and I asked her to look for a spoon ring because I felt I had to have one and I had somehow lost mine. She didn't find a spoon ring but she did find a fork ring and even though it wasn't what I asked for, I found it was what I needed! Everyone who sees it compliments it and I hold it dear to my heart. My mom is so good to me.

My uncle is a Chief  Engineer for the Merchant Marines and I've always been obsessed with anchors because of it. I asked for an anchor necklace last year and my fiance bought me this one from Forever 21, in gold not silver, along with an antique anchor broach he found bargain hunting. 

Just tried this on my hair this morning and so far a lot of fellow employees have thought it is cute!

I want all of these rings except I could probably do with the out the top right one (the man creeps me out)

"sitting, waiting, wishing..."

I'm not sure if I've mentioned the fact that I work with my mom at my day job. I love that only a few offices separate us and i've grown very fond of going to lunch together and her being right down the hall when I need a laugh or a hug.
This morning mom is at the doctors office getting blood work done so they can start the search for a bone marrow match. It's killing me to not be there with her and all I can think about lately is what life will be like once she goes into the hospital. She'll go to Savannah first, which is a 40 minute drive from here, so I'll be able to go visit with her after work and on the weekends. After Savannah she will go to Emory in Atlanta and I'm dreading it already. I get stressed driving in heavy traffic and from what I understand Atlanta is unreal. I'm not sure how I'll make the trip without a nervous breakdown but I'll be damned if I don't try.

I text my ex the other day to tell him about my mom and his only response was "sorry, hope she's okay". I got my feelings hurt a little because he has been one of my best friends for the past nine years, despite the fact that I'm now engaged. He was awesome last time mom was sick and made the whole deal easier on me just by being there for me to talk to when I needed a friend. I've spent six years with my fiance and he totally understands that I want my ex to be only my friend. He's cool with it but my ex's new girlfriend is not cool with it at all. They met last year at the bar and she went home with him and just never left. She was sleeping at his house for two weeks before she even broke up with her boyfriend at the time. At first she sent me messages saying how she didn't mind my ex being my friend and how it would be insecure of her to think he would do her wrong. I assured her that I wouldn't jeopardize my relationship nor hers. Now, she hates my guts and has my ex by the backbone. They both speak to my fiance when they see him but as soon as I arrive they stop talking to either of us. I don't expect to go on double dates or have sleepovers with the girl but It would have been nice of my ex to at least explain that we're friends. He is 26 and she is 19 and she has turned him into a complete tool. I guess some people let jealousy ruin them.

Praying that everything goes well with my mom!

Gotta have it.

My Favorite Must Haves:

Gap pocket tshirts. I have black, white, grey, and navy. I can wear them with shorts, skirts, jeans, and layered. 

Coobie Bras in the scoop neck version. I'm seeing them all over mommy/baby websites but regardless I wear them under tshirts and the strapless version tank tops all the time. They have padding and their comfortable and the colors are so fun! 

Pearls. Pearl is my birthstone so every year I get something pearl. Necklace, Bracelet, earrings, etc. I like to put on a strand with a tshirt and pretend i'm classy! ;)

Seer Sucker. You can wear a tshirt with seer sucker and still look like you tried. It's a classic.

T-shirt Dresses. I prefer ones that are more on the plain side. They're comfortable and can be worn in the summer or winter under a cardigan with leggings. 

Fossil Satchel. I've always been a fan of Fossil purses. They go with everything and look timeless. I'd rather have a new Fossil bag than a Dooney & Burke bag; that's just me though. 

Tortoise Shell Sunglasses. Again, it's a classic look and feel type thing and it goes with everything. 

Nude strapless bra. Everyone should have at least four bras. A nude one, a push up, a good strapless, and a black one. 

Little Black Dress. Everyone should have a little black dress that makes them feel like a million bucks. Mine happens to be one shoulder and quarter sleeve. I love it so much I wish I had bought two when I found it. 

Crop Top. This isn't a trend that everyone loves but I like wearing them over bathing suits, to workout, and of course around the house. Makes me feel edgy.

Cardigans. I live in these during the winter, fall, and spring. I wear them in the mornings when it's chilly and over dresses to work. 

PRETTY PANTIES THAT YOU FEEL HOT IN! Everyone needs undergarments that boost their self-esteem. For me it's boyshorts or anything lacy. 

This is just my list of things I love and would feel naked without. You're list is going to be different and that's okay because it's not trendy to all look the same, regardless of what you've been told. 

"Leaves seen through my window pane, remind me that it's time to change my life again"

November of 2009 we found out my dad was dying from psoriasis of the liver. In December we had his funeral and two days later found out my mom had AML Leukemia. She spent Christmas, New Years, her 50th birthday, and my sister's 17th birthday in the hospital. She was out in time for my 21st birthday and for the past year she's been in remission. Yesterday we found out it's back. This time she will be going for one high dose of chemo and then to Emory for a bone marrow transplant. 
    
          In a way the past year has made me grow up a lot. I didn't have a whole lot of choice but I managed to keep myself sane while taking care of my sister, grandma, myself, and taking care of my mom. My sister decided to run from things and withdrew from family. She got in some trouble and made my mom worry twice the normal amount. This time sister will be living with me and my fiance again while mom is gone and we've agreed to some rules. HOPEFULLY this will work out. I've tried to explain to her how important it is that she's there for all of us and that even when she's out running away from her problems... they're still here waiting on her. It's time to face things head on! It's also made me realize what's important and what's trivial. I've withdrawn from some of my friends because even though they know what I'm going through they still complain about the little stuff and it makes me angry.  Angry might not be the best word. It just bothers me that some of my friends complain about every little things. For instance; I have a friend who bitches about every little thing, nothing is ever good enough and every time we talk it's about HER drama. She's known for three weeks what's going on with my mom and has not once asked me how I'm doing or how my mom is doing. She's had plenty of time to complain about her dog, boyfriend, brother, my ex, his new girlfriend, etc. but hadn't once considered my feelings. She text me the other day complaining that she had a flat tire and our neighbor told her he would change it AFTER it stopped raining. She didn't have to be at work or anything, she just wanted her tire changed right then and there regardless of the heavy rain. She expected him to get outside in the rain and do it for her and was mad when he didn't want to do it right then. (This is our neighbor, not her boyfriend) By the tenth text about how sucky everyone is I got tired of listening to her complain and simple told her that if a flat tire was the worst thing that happened to her that day then she was doing alright.

Okay, enough ranting. I shouldn't expect people to change or feel the same way I do about things but I do wish people wouldn't take things for granted and would actually slow down and thing about what's really important and what's not. Everything happens for a reason, even if you can't see the reason right away.

Fanny packs.

Okay, I get that bellbottoms are back. I probably won't be wearing them this year but I don't hate the look, totally. I love that lace is still in and that crop tops are making a big come back. What I don't get are the fanny packs that everyone is now calling the "belt purse". It's not a belt purse, it's a fanny pack and it still looks ridiculous. 

Belt Purse: Link

True, they're a lot nicer than what I remember wearing as a kid. They might as well be neon pink, either way I'll stick to my fossil satchels. This is one trend that should have been left alone. 

Book review and neighbor review.

Pretty Little Devils: Nancy Holder

I personally thought this book was a little like the pretty little liars series mixed with a little gossip girl. I bought the book from Books a Million, yesterday, for $1. I started reading it and could not put it down until I knew who the murderer was. It started off much like any "mean girls" based book but quickly turned into a murder mystery. I like that I don't have to read 18 books to find out who the murderer was but it ended lazily. Of course, the ending was a big twist but it seemed like Nancy Holder just gave up the last chapter and got it over with as soon as she could. All in all it was a good book for a rainy Sunday and it kept my attention. In fact I was a little irritated when we had company pop up at the house and I had to stop reading. The Splash Proof Cover made it a good book for laying the in the bathtub and relaxing...which was cut short when my friend came in. 

Speaking of how company cut my book reading short for a few hours... If you live by your friend then it's probably best to sit down and talk about space. I should've done so months ago. My friend thinks because we are neighbors and friends that she no longer has to knock before coming inside, doesn't have to give me a heads up when she comes over, and a lot of times tries to get into the house even if we're gone. I love her to death but I also love my alone time or my fiance time. I don't want to get out of the bathtub when you come over but I also don't want you to sit in the bathroom with me talking the whole time i'm trying to relax. DRIVES ME NUTS! 

things that say stupid

Somethings that I find quite ridiculous:

Shoes that have frogs on them and are made for people over the age of two.

Shoes that make your feet look like horse hoofs...why?!

Jewelry that looks like your retainer. I never wore a retainer but why commemorate childhood pain by making it into a necklace? 

Stuff like this. It could have been a pretty cool hoodie had she not left one side really long and the other really short. (I love this website, www.regretsy.com) 

Alright, that's it for ridiculous things I found on the Internet this morning. If I run across anything really neat or really stupid I'll post it up!  

Guess I have to start at the beginning

I am currently working two jobs (full time marketing, part time hostess/server). I've always liked to sew and make stuff so I figured I'd dedicate this blog to a little bit of fashion and a little bit of my life. I'm currently obsessed with crop tops, flowy tops, lace, and anything that could be related to hippies or summer. I've been doing research on what's "in" this spring/summer and here is what i've learned:

 "IN"/"OUT"
Denim trousers instead of jeggings - This is a good thing because I haven't even wanted to do the jegging trend...call me unfashionable but you either wear jeans or leggings, not a combination of the two. You can't cheat at life like that!

Bell bottom jeans instead of skinny jeans - I'm a little sad to hear that bell bottoms are making a come back. They look awesome on all the models but in real life they look horrible on 80% of the world. I refuse to wear anything other than bootcut or skinny jeans. I'm starting to think i'm not as fashionable as I think. 


I've also noticed that nude is a big hit this year for fingernails and shoes. I like the color on both. I'm more likely to wear the nude trend on my feet though. I like my bright pink toe nails and sparkly pink nails. I noticed that those awful "jelly" shoes are back, I thought those were a failure and didn't expect to see them back again for anyone over the age of five. Those shoes always gave me blisters and to stop the blisters my mom would make me wear socks which just made the whole ordeal that much worse. 




IMPORTANT: I've been looking everywhere for a pair of lightweight linen pants...white or khaki... and can not find them anywhere! Two years ago they were everywhere and I had two different pairs of each but I can't find mine and I'm determined to find another pair to make me happy. Any news will help.